stressful.
miserable.
sick of “it”.
exhausted.
depressed.
demotivated.
“never ending” problem.
lack of support.
confused.
unlucky.
insane.
bored.
broke.
sad.
Do you know the difference between loving someone and falling in love with someone?
ho-ho, honestly, i didn’t know til i clicked on some links, and most likely they say…
loving someone means that you accept individual as s/he is. it is unconditionally, you love them just the way they are, it is long lasting or forever, if i may say.
whereas, falling in love is a temporary feeling that can disappear anytime. you fall in love with the presence of someone. you’re in love with someone just because s/he has one or more of your type of girl/boyfriend. you may leave the one you are with when you find the better one.
it is good to ask (yourself or your lover,too) whether the relationship is working.
love is not a maybe thing…or there is no if’s, but’s, or maybe’s! you know when you love someone!
I just want to be with someone who loves me so much
I do think i deserve to be treated like a princess…
…but just don’t treat me like crap!
the more you love me, the more you want to be like calm and understand and try to make me more comfortable
Some lines from my favorite reality drama, which (i think) speak more less what a girl wants from their couple.
for all the boys out there, i don’t think you have to treat your girl like a princess…just treat them good and understand their feeling, it’s more than enough, i guess. (for me, it is)
so-so-so, do you love or fall in love with the one you’re with now?
You don’t know what you got til it’s gone…take a good care of yours!
for more information, i like what this article says.
Akhir-akhir ini banyak tmn yg curhat masalah expectation mereka ke orang lain, and yet it’s another relationship problem.
Gimana gw mau percaya sama dy? kalo gw ga bisa naruh ekspektasi apapun ke dy, bahkan ekspektasi kecil!
Kenapa sih dy ga peduli perasaan gw dan mentingin perasaan orang lain? kenapa dy ga fair sama gw?
Kenapa sih harus nunggu gw bete, baru dy bakalan nanya, berpikir n take action?
(kira-kira) salah tiga pertanyaan yg gw dapet dari beberapa orang yg “ngeluh” akhir-akhir ini, karna mereka ga bisa dapetin expectation mereka, padahal menurut sebagian dari mereka itu hanya ekspektasi kecil dan mendasar.
sebenernya apa sih arti expectation itu?
inti yg gw dapet adalah kalo ekspektasi itu masi sesuatu yg mungkin terjadi, emang most likely akan terjadi, tp be realistic, semua itu tergantung apa, siapa, dan gmn keadaan saat itu…dan kata wikipedia, expetation itu secara ga langsung adalah sebuah order, in term of people behaviour.
ga mungkin donk order roti ke toko bunga? in other words, ga mungkin donk ngasi order ke orang yg ga punya kemampuan buat menghasilkan order itu?! yakanyakanyakan?!
Jadi untuk mengurangi disappointment, alangkah baiknya, untuk berhati2 menaruh ekspektasi ke orang lain. start with putting small expectation buat tau apa orang itu bisa dipercaya/diharapkan apa ga. kalo emang tuh orang ga bisa ngerti ekspektasi yg kecil, mendingan jangan berharap apa2 sih dan jangan pernah mencoba menaruh ekspektasi yg lebih besar, karna bisa2 kita malah benci orang itu. and yaps, expectation itu ada hubungannya sama selfishness and trustworthiness.
kalo emang lu mau expect sesuatu COMMUNICATE with others EXPLICITLY! jangan takut untuk mengungkapkan-nya apa adanya, jangan menggunakan kata2 yg banyak arti. dan ingat kata mungkin, ga semua yg kita harepin itu bisa kita dapetin. (ngomong jelas aja belum tentu dapet ekspektasi kita, apalagi berbelit2!?)
oia, satu lagi jangan takut buat dibilang “demanding”. kalo emang expectation itu buat kebaikan bersama, kenapa ga diperjuangin ya kan?!
(hmm, kayaknya gw perlu ngomong ini ke diri sendiri jg nih)
Dearest Tisa,
Happy 21st Birthday! HAHAHA…
Selamat datang di umur 21!!!
menurut gw sih, secara gw ngerasain duluan, beban hidup lu ntar makin banyak, hidup makin serius, udah ga bisa haha-hihi spt dl, udah harus bisa ngambil keputusan sendiri dengan pertimbangan2 dr segala aspek tentunya. ya lu rasain sendiri aja sih, mungkin jg beda, secara oh secara kita hidup didunia yg berbeda…(meratapi nasib dipojokan)
sorry tis, gw ga tau mau ngasi apa di hari ultah lu ini,haha..udah keabisan ide saya! jadinya gw nulis blog aja buat lu, tp sebenernya gw jg ga ada pikiran mo nulis apa di blog ini…tp cm ini yg terlintas di otak gw yg lagi sangat tidak kreatif ini.
hm, doanya aja kali yaps…
apa lagi yaps bok…all the best lah buat kau!
gw udah ga tau mo nulis apa lagi, gw lagi ga bisa konsen banget nih…lagi ga sehat. lu tau ga sih harusnya gw tuh yaps ngerjain tugas sekarang ini, cm bener2 ga ada semangat buat itu,huhu…tugas numpuk terus deh! (numpang curcol)
inget yaps, kalo lu butuh tempat untuk mengeluh, ato apa pun gw selalu ada buat lu..
Ini ada lagunya buat kamu dari aku (sok imut, malu2, sambil kedip2 mata) 
Here I am - Leona Lewis
intinya i wish you all the happiness in life!
so proud of you…love miss you!
cupcupmumu-ah! 
(tis kalo lu ga ngerti gmn cara liat video lagunya, tanya abet aja yaps, sebenernya sih tinggal di klik doank, cm ya kemajuan technology yg sebenernya mempermudah orang, buat lu kan mempersulit masihan,hahaha.. IP tinggi, tp kok gaptek! *peace*. dengerin liriknya yaps bok!)
As usual, laptop is on, music plays along!
while answering a phone call from friend of mine, a song from Robyn was playing. some lines made me turn around and i kept repeating the song since then.
And it’s so hard when you love someone this much. But you just don’t know how to love him right way.
I don’t know what you want me to do, to prove my love is real for you.
I don’t know what you want me to say, there’s no if’s or maybe’s.
All i want is you, ’cause baby you are my only wish
to wrap things up, i just want to apologize for my imperfect self.
i was in denial. didn’t know where i should place myself…
i never love you less, honestly… yeah, i just don’t know how to love you right yet.
and the sure thing is, i wish no one, but you!
I ♥ U
I was re-watching one episode of The Hills season 1 while having dinner. Here are some quotes interested me:
Flowers mean “I’m sorry” and Chocolates mean “I love U”.
When you like someone that is completely different than who you’ve ever liked before. I feel like if i don’t give him another chance, i’m always gonna be like “I wonder…”.
Sometimes just there’s some people you’ll never get over.
So…anything on your mind reading those lines? do you agree/disagree?
Oh ya, anyway, it reminds me of a line from one of Rihanna’s songs:
Sad and it’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that i love you beyond the reason why
Surely, many of you experienced this kind of feeling, and even myself did!
But the questions are:
How do you deal with people thoughts, like “how come you stand someone who somewhat hurt you again and again?” or “you deserve someone much better than him/her”?
Would you stand for your “right” and leave your “need him/her” feeling behind? Are you brave enough to fight your willing not to get back together with him/her? How do you measure that someone you love(d) changed?
How many times will you give someone chances?
Too much questions,huh? of course, so many questions to define a good and happy relationship…
Personally, i disagree with giving chances to someone even i love(d) him.
I have experienced this, and i didn’t get any advantages of it, plus i felt so used! no, it doesn’t mean i won’t give any chances, but give second chance is enough! no third or forth…
I never have reasons for loving someone, sounds cliché, but i really do…that’s why, when he fails in his second chance, for me, it means like he doesn’t take me seriously, has no respect, and just not worthy to be trusted.
And, although i can’t get over him, once or twice he hurt me, i’d rather be alone dealing with my “forgive” feeling, than put my trust back on him… I just don’t believe in getting back to ex, but i’m not gonna be lie, i had once.
life is about lesson learned! never make the same mistake twice!
As Adeaze sings…
I am strong on my own
with or without you I’m the same
Life is about all the meaningful things that we get to share with each other
Pertama-tama saya mau mengucapkan Minal Aidin Walfaidzin!
Mohon dimaafkan semua kesalahan-kesalahan saya selama ini…semoga amal dan ibadah kita diterima 
hm, mugkin agak telat gw nulis ini, hihi…kemaren pengen nulis sebenernya pas masi hot2nya and ada moodnya, cm udah capek n ngantuk banget…tp lebih baik telat daripada ga sama sekali kan?! (dan untungnya masi ada moodnya)
Lebaran taun ini terlalu sangat berarti buat gw…mungkin sangking berartinya jadi pengen gw abadikan di blog gw yg isinya ga perna penting ini,haha . banyak banget yang gw rasain dan yang harus gw kerjain dari mulai menyambut sampe hari lebaran kemaren.
oia, pas hari Lebaran jg tiba2 handphone gw ga berhenti2 berbunyi, entah ada angin apa, tiba2 tmn2 SMP gw yg menurut gw ga akan perna terlintas diotak mereka buat ngubungin gw, dr yg ga deket sampe yg dl pernah deket tiba2 kontak gw…dan jg temen2 lain yg sempet lose contact jg, sampe hari ini saya masi dipanggil2 dimana2,hehe..
Jadi intinya ini yg namanya menikmati kesibukan! sibuk tapi menyenangkan!!! stress, panik, senang, bahagia semua jadi satu! dan menghasilkan SENANG TIADA TARA! (sangat amat bersyukur sekali, ALHAMDULILLAH!)
jadi jadi jadi…melalui blog ini, selain mo mengucap syukur kepada yang berkuasa, gw jg mo berterima kasih kepada teman-teman semuanya!
YOU MADE MY DAY!
1 OKTOBER 2008 menjadi hari yang berjuta nilainya buat saya
Terima Kasih banyak. Thank you so much. Muchas Gracias. Hartelijk Bendakt!
GBU!
hm, i don’t study at all today. I’m so tired and maybe i’m bored studying everyday…a lot of plans pop up in my head but i just can’t think about anything right now!
and it’s Sunday, i think it’s okay doing what i like today. oh yeah, i’m so right!
so, what i have here…
I downloaded The Hills season 1 to 3 to fill my “short have fun times”. Since school started, let’s say just no more fun!
bunch things i wanna talk about this TV show actually…but there’s a thing catch my attention here, because i’m about thinking the same thing like the girls on that serial lately.
in season 3 (yaps, almost finish watching it! ), there’s a scene when Lauren (the star) tries to find a house with Lo and Audrina, just because her apartment’s vibe isn’t good anymore. And yeaps, the same here…lately, i was thinking to find another place but not only because the vibe issue, but also other reasons that “trigger” me to have my own private space.
A small affordable room with kitchen and bathroom like i used to have will be great this time. The thing is i wanna be able to do whatever i want without any objections, distractions, and silly thoughts from others…MY ROOM, MY RULES!
I think, i prefer living alone here. i don’t know…life is just harder to be shared with others. others don’t make me feel better and ease-ier somehow. it’s just more complicated than it looks.
i love having secret, my own time, being loner, quiet times, doing silly things without notices…well, even though sometimes i feel so lonely and need my besties around…my besties aren’t here anyway! doesn’t make any difference…
maybe i’m wierdo, but i don’t care…my happiness is all what matters now! don’t think people in my house will understand it completely…abit worry about them, but…i don’t know what to say! don’t know what the right thing to do right now!
So please anyone, if you find or know a nice affordable single room, be kind and let me know…i just need to get rid of this!
so appreciate any help!
that’s all for today…so sleepy, but i wanna continue watching the Hills,hehe…
nite people!
Sad.
dominates my feeling this week. certain things set the emotion.
…and unfortunately i can’t keep it down right now.
i feel so lonely and suddenly missing my BESTEST FRIENDS.
it sucks being so miles away from my girls! i don’t know where to trust here…
no one to share, no one to cry on! no one can replace you! 
i miss y’ll so much, so bad, so crazy! made my tears run down…
i need you to company me…well, i know it’s not possible having you right here right now.
i bet you’re sleeping now…maybe in your dream, you can hear me crying calling your name, asking for help…if you do, please tell me! seriously tell me! maybe we have some kind of telepathy or something like that…HAHA
hmm, you know you mean the WORLD to me…
i hate being like this…so down…alone.
i miss our old times together
we did argue over boys, we have disliked each others…but we came back and made things up.
we met…we texted…we kept company each other anytime anywhere anyhow.
yeah, it’s about the time. we don’t have it now. we have different world now!
well, it wasn’t like this before, we’ve been through this situation for 3 years or even more…no me crying, you did exist still in my life.
we only have “us”, right? have you ever cried just because you miss me?
no one knows us better then us! i feel so, don’t you?
Oh My God! this is silly…
i think i have to stop this.
the thing is, I really miss you so…
you’re not around, no mail, no chat, no call…uh’uh, not cool girls! i tell you, not cool at all…!
one of yours need attention here! hallo, and it’s weekend!
long chat will be great for us! we didn’t meet often last summer, REMEMBER!?
insanely miss you!
setelah kira2 dlm seminggu ini lah, setiap ada kesempatan ga tau kenapa gw sering kepikiran..co kayak gmn sih yg gw pengen…
norak banget yaps kayaknya,ampe mikir kayak gt..haha..cm gw punya alasan kok kenapa gw ampe kepikiran hal itu..pertama, buat tmn2 yg katanya mau nyariin gw gebetan baru swalnya katanya gw kayak lose control klo ga ada co yg ngejagain..haha..kedua, sekalian orientasi mencari jodoh..mengingat umur gw udah mau 21, n emang mau nikah muda btw..hihi..ketiga, karna gw jg sebenernya ga jelas sukanya ma co kayak gmn,jadi kalo ditanya orang gw selalu bingung…jd gw mulai berpikir supaya next relation gw bisa langgeng…lumayan lah kalo ampe beneran dapet co sesuai kriteria standard saya..hehehehe…
berikut ini adalah kriteria standard dr yg matter bgt (no1) sampe yg not too necessary yg kepikiran dr gw:
1. sayang sama gw n jg harus sayang sama orang2 yg gw sayang…itu pesan mama!hohoho..
2. bisa ngerti gw…karna gw itu suka nakal n "aneh" jadi harus ada special effort buat bener2 ngerti gw:D
3. bisa selalu jujur n terbuka sama gw…(one of lessons learned from the previous relationships)
4. bukan playboy…hrs bisa menghargai ce, ngerti perasaan ce…(tapi kalo bisa good looking jg):p
5. pendengar yg baik…karna gw slalu butuh seseorang yg mau dengerin gw, tanpa perlu ngasi komen, cm kalo bisa ngasi komen yg tepat sih lebih bagus lagi..
6. perhatian…gw termasuk ce yg suka banget diperhatiin sama co gw,hahaha (oops)
7. bs merawat diri, bersih dan tidak bau dan klo bs punya good taste buat cara berpakaianya dy n cocok ma gayanya jg;)
8. pekerja keras n ga gampang nyerah n bisa jd motivator jg…
9. sabar…perlu banget buat ngadepin gw disaat mood kurang bagus..hahaha..
10. punya character or always be yourself..n bisa menyesuaikan diri dimana pun kau berada…
11. punya selera humor..bagus kalo anda bisa ngelucu *wink :)*
12. kalo bisa ga ngerokok, ato mau ngurangin rokoknya demi gw..(peace)
13. penikmat musik, bagus kalo bisa main alat musik, at least gitar lah..jadi ntar kita bisa nyanyi2 bareng,haha(banyak maunya banget gw)
14. alangkah baiknya kalau anda lebih tinggi dari saya..cm kalo emang ga,ya ga apa (saya emang yg ketinggian…nasiibbb)
15. seagama kalo bisa…cm selama situ bisa membawa saya kejalan yg bener sih, doesnt matter de agamanya apa jg..really appreciate that!
16. bukan orang yg fanatik akan sesuatu..ingat!segala sesuatu yg fanatik itu tidak baik
kayaknya itu aja yg penting buat gw, mungkin ntar kalo ada yg baru gw update de..hahaha..
secara gw bukan ce agresif klo buat masalah beginian ni, jadi klo ada tmn2 yg merasa punya tmn co yg kira2 memenuhi kriteria diatas..bisa tolong dikenalkan..sounds desperate maybe but really not ;)..just wanna answer the question that always knocks on my door lately..haha..
overall, i’m enjoying my life right now..just for fun kok!hahahaha..
always having fun!-hugiss-
*hugiss: hug n kiss*
